Dharma in the Garden

Wishcasting

Today Jamie Ridler asks the question "What is your spirit wishing for?"

My wish is simply to believe.  In myself, in the goodness of others, that all things are possible, in a creatively fulfilling and abundant life, and most of all in my dreams.

Another beautiful spring day, cloudless blue sky, warm breeze... just perfect.

Been re-aquainting myself the art of portrait drawing, making a few pencil sketches of images in newspapers and magazines. It's been a long time since I did sketches of the face (quite obvious from the results thus far!) but it's still great fun trying to get a likeness. And a great feeling when, with one tiny mark, the person you are trying to capture stares back at you from the paper!  Somehow you've managed to get the exact tilt of their nose, the shape of their mouth or the turn of their head.

Much harder will be drawing from life. Who is going to sit still long enough I wonder...

Well they've had their best ever performance this spring, continuing to give a fabulous display week after week and well past their allotted time. But after many encores my tulips have now sadly taken their last bow.  I can't be too sad because ready to make an entrance is the rambling rose, accompanied by the lavender, the gentiana and the aguilegia.  A welcome return year after year but a new act waiting in the wings is the Gerbera 'Forever Daisies' Collection and I can't wait to see how Crista, Pam, Piroska, Rachel and Sunny will fare among the other stars of the garden.

 

 

A tranquil oasis with trees, waterfalls and bridges, where ducks swim, children play and dogs are walked. Located in a quiet residential area, the noises of everyday life won't disturb you here. There are plenty of quiet spots where you can sit and contemplate, water and birdsong the only soundtrack to your dreams.

The bridges and winding pathways guide you over and around a deep pool which is fed from above by a small waterfall which gurgles and gushes over rocks and stones.

This garden paradise is only a brief walk from our home - we are truly blessed!  Today it was sparkling in the sunshine, a kaleidescope of colours.  The water was like a mill pond creating the most beautiful reflections.

Sketchbook and pencils remained in my bag as the camera was definitely the favoured medium for capturing all this vibrancy. 

The name of this paradise is Johnston Gardens.  More images can be found in this album.

The warmest day of the year so far.  The garden is now so full of life and at its most perfect. I love this time of year.

This is Tulip 'Madonna' - isn't she beautiful? 

The apple blossom will never be more perfect than it is right now.  Expecting a bumper crop of delicious apples this year.

The pots of spring bulbs have been moved from their winter position at the side of the shed to the front of the shed so I can now see their glory from the kitchen window. Sharp sand has been scattered round the hostas to deter the slugs and snails. I've tried to keep the rambling rose from rambling too much or I won't get through the garden gate!  Plants in clay and terracotta pots have been given a large drink of water and books and magazines in the summer house have been re-arranged and weeded respectively. I'm off to put my feet up and read more Wilkie Collins.

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. –unknown

I re-read that second sentence several times before I really understood what it meant. This morning, for a brief period, I really felt I was fully being what I am. A joyous, giving being, full of love and hope and happiness. I felt that joyous energy bubbling up from inside me, making my heart swell. It caught in my throat because I had to fight the urge to open my mouth and just let all my love and joy pour out. In what form I know not – laughter, song, a yell! I was sitting in my favourite café, taking time out on my way to work to enjoy a cappuccino. I had bought a cup cake for my friend to cheer her up (this café does amazing cup cakes), the sun was shining, the coffee was doing its stuff and the life felt good.

Today I am focusing on giving and receiving but more importantly on loving myself. As the quote above says, we must love ourselves first before we can love another. My creative e-course is helping me to dig deep, to reach inside, and discover (or should that be re-discover) who I really am.

I'm no expert but I know one thing. If you are filled with doubt and negativity, don’t consider yourself worthwhile or deserving of good things, if you are self-critical, angry or bitter, then it will not be possible to give lovingly to others.

It is incredibly difficult and scary to look inside yourself and see what is really there. All that dark horrible icky stuff we don’t admit to. Those traits and characteristics that we dislike so much in other people? We’ve got them too. Once you start looking, I mean really looking, shining a light in to all those dark corners, the dark stuff starts running for cover. Thing is, there’s no where to run. It’s been exposed to the light and dark stuff doesn’t like being in the light. I’ve shone the light on a lot of nasty stuff lately and it wasn’t nice to see. I wanted to put the cover back over them and pretend they weren’t there. But I had seem them and I knew I had to admit that yes I’d had those thoughts, I’d felt those feelings, I had been that awful person. But I also knew that inside me was lots of lovely stuff too - compassion, love, gratitude, passion, creativity, respect, generosity, joy, positivity, belief. An abundance of beautiful virtues, thoughts and feelings. Then I realised that if I could think and feel all that negative stuff with no real effort on my part, then surely it was just as easy to stop, reach inside and choose one of my happy traits instead.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm learning, day by day, step by step, to stop and examine all my negative thoughts and just find a better, nicer thought instead. Hey, I'm not perfect and I'm not saying it's easy. I still have times when life can threaten to overwhelm me and all seems pretty bleak. But I'm learning to accept that too, and to know that at least I now recognise these moments for what they are and that I can choose to change how I feel. In a heartbeat. How powerful is that?

Incidentally, my day just got better and better and the more positive and happy I felt about myself and my life, the more I found that nice stuff kept happening. As for journaling, I think I am becoming seriously addicted! 

Have you met me?

Bored, bored, BORED. My head hurts from the sheer boredom of today's stifling routine. If it is possible to have a day that was less creative, less fulfilling, less authentic, less real, then I hope I never experience it.

But boredom served its purpose - it made me realise that how I am living my life is totally unacceptable and that I am tired, tired, tired of being the square peg in the round hole.  I want to live my life, live it fully, really, authentically. I want to grab my life with both hands, hang on and shout "come on, let's run, let's jump, let's skip, let's play".  There are ideas buzzing, flying around my head, there is a creative bubble inside me ready to burst out, I can feel pure joy and energy fighting to be let loose, I want to laugh long and loud for the sheer delight of hearing its sound. I want the plug to be pulled, the bottle uncorked, the dam released and everything that was stuck fast to come rushing, pouring, tumbling out.  I want to live my values, speak my truth, blow my trumpet.

Phew! Good to get all that out.  Right now I feel I am being swept along in a torrent of emotions, not knowing what will happen or where I'll end up. You know, I've realised that it's actually really hard work pretending to be someone else. And I'm not an actor so I don't even get paid! A lifetime's work and it's not even a great role.  Time for the mask to be removed, the disguise to be taken off, to step from the shadows and into the (spot)light.

Time to introduce ME.

Perfect Things - 20 of them!

Could have thought of a lot more but here are 20 perfect things in no particular order:

An Agatha Christie novel (any of them, it doesn't matter) and a comfy chair
The scent and taste of vanilla. Vanilla perfume is the best!
Newly cut grass - summer's here!
Laundry blowing in the breeze and the fresh air smell when you bring it indoors
Viennese Truffles - makes the first item in the list even more perfect
Life because it is perfect, in every way. I just need to remind myself and get in the flow
Gardening - it's the best therapy ever and you never stop learning
Art - my saviour, my passion, my dream
The White Sands of Morar  May they always remain so blissfully unspoiled  
Spending time with Mum, lunching, shopping and chatting - so rare but bliss! I love you Mum
Girl talk - giggling, gossiping, gassing, great fun
All the amazing people I have met through blogging - bless you all
Katharine Hepburn movies
My Alegria PG Lite Red Scribble Clogs - funky and comfy!
The Inside Out e-course because it's OK to not be perfect!
Granola with cranberries, blueberries and organic yoghurt. Yum!
My summer house and it's view of the garden
Bird song - it never fails to lift my spirits
The sound of waves breaking on the shore
The man who shares my life. Nothing would be perfect without you.

Lose the scissors!

Just completed Week 1 of my creative e-course Inside Out and about to leap into Week 2!  It's been great to just mess about with paint and other fun materials and not worry about the results on the paper. This is something I have real difficulty with so hoping to learn how to release all the angst I feel when I start a painting.  The best part has been snipping words and images from magazines and making wonderful collage.  For a little while I was taking time to cut words and pictures out with scissors but then I realised that it was actually far better to just rip and tear things out.  Essentially learning to let go and just be a child again, not caring about being neat or tidy.  Lesson of the week for me has been "lose the scissors"!



There are some parts of the e-course that are challenging for me.  Particularly the journal writing exercises. But I am finding the free form writing to be cathartic. After all the course is called Inside Out and that is just what is happening when you get your thoughts down on paper.  Some thoughts aren't so nice (lots of negativity that needs a light shone on it) but equally I am finding lots of nice stuff turning up!  I have done something similar many years ago when I tried to work my way through Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way (no fault of Julia's that I never managed to complete it). Anyway, morning pages (as they were called) threw up some pretty good stuff and I re-read them again the other day to remind myself of what was going on in my life back then.  



Loving the relaxing meditation (which I just don't do enough of) and looking forward to learning about yoga. 

So can't wait to see what's in store this week, although definitely will need to plan my life better so I can do a little something every day instead of a huge splurge of activity at the end of the week!

Other pictures from my journal of self-discovery can be found here

Attitude of Gratitude

'Count your blessings' is simple to the point of stupid—and powerful to the point of life-altering. Gratitude, that very specific feeling of thankfulness in your heart, allows you to see and absorb all you have, forgetting for a moment all you may lack. It connects your brain with your heart, and gives you the ground to be more giving, effective, loving human. Being grateful allows generosity to flow. And many believe it also makes us more receptive—as in, the more you love what you have, the more you get what you want. So herewith, a list to remind you of fundamental things to be grateful for every day—from apples to clouds to ice cream to getting enough nightly Zzz’s. 

See the list at 26 Reasons to be Grateful - The Ultimate Gratitude List from A to Z

Beginnings

"Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment - this day - is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day - each moment of this day - a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity." Dan Custer, Author

Organised?

Determined to get myself organised so have bought myself the Life Book Diary which has lots of space to jot down notes, has tear out shopping lists and fun stickers for all sorts of activities and events, even has a portable address book.  Have already started adding to the handy pocket at the back so suspect that all too soon it will be bulging with all the usual lists, receipts and bits of paper torn out of magazines that I plan to do something about and then forget.  These are the lists, receipts and bits of paper that were located in several other journals/diaries/notebooks that I bought in an attempt to "get organised".  The journals/diaries/notebooks that I start to fill until I discover something prettier/smaller/larger/with stickers.  But I will use this one. I will. I definitely will...

Done complaining (well, almost)

My Complaint Free bracelet has been ordered but as it could take up to 45 days to arrive I have decided to start my challenge now and consider it a bit of a practice session to see how I get on.  So far I have learned that by monitoring myself for every little moan or complaint I might make I am able to turn my attention to more positive thoughts and feelings.  I have forgotten a few times of course and ended up having a good old rant about something or other.  So early days yet.  I think the physical act of having to switch the bracelet from one wrist to the other each time I catch myself complaining will definitely help.  Even if I stop complaining simply because I get so fed up switching the bracelet back and forth!  Of course I could just take the bracelet off altogether but that's just defeatist.

A Complaint Free World

I'm seriously thinking about taking the challenge to go a full 21 days without a single complaint.  This inspirational challenge has been set by A Complaint Free World, an non-profit, non-religious organisation who envision a positive shift in the world's consciousness.  The want to inspire 1% (60 million people) of the world's population to leave the toxic communication of complaining behind and experience an internal shift towards being more positive, hopeful and optimistic.

One of the ways they hope to achieve this goal is by selling purple bracelets. You wear the bracelet for 21 days and each time you complain (about anything) you switch it to the other wrist.  The goal is to go for 21 consecutive days without complaining or switching the bracelet.  

I found it interesting (and slightly synchronistic) that their motto is "if you don't like something, change it, if you can't change it, change your attitude - don't complain."  I have this quotation pinned up beside my computer at work but didn't realise these are the words of Dr Maya Angelou. She received the 6 millionth purple Complaint Free bracelet on 10 September this year.  Eckhart Tolle also expresses these sentiments in his book The Power of Now.  

It's certainly very easy to complain about our lot in life rather than counting all the blessings we have. I've just finished reading an article by Doreen Virtue in which she asks that we enjoy our life now in this moment and not waste our life waiting for some future day when we have no problems.  Every single moment contains a blessing, even the worst day of our life.

The same magazine had an article by Tim Freke in which he talks about the mystery of the moment and how by spending so much time engrossed in the story of our lives we are missing out on all the wondrous magic of our existence. Just by stepping out of our 'story' for a little while and noticing the beauty and mystery all around us can be exhilarating and helps us see everything from a new perspective.

21 days of no complaining seems like a tough challenge - I wonder if I'm up for it.  Watch this space.

Healing Plants

I have started giving myself daily treatments of Reiki again.  You need to practice regularly to keep the energy strong and unfortunately I have been very bad at doing this.  I have even been treating a couple of my plants to a healing session. Well, you never know.  If it can do wonders for me who's to say my plants won't benefit.

I've added an Osteospermum, a Geum, a Gentian and a Poppy Orientale to one of my borders.  Oh and a Stachys Byzantina (lamb's lugs). It's the poppy that needs some TLC at the moment.  I planted it when the weather was warm but since then it has turned really cold so it obviously didn't like that (I wasn't too happy either!). Sadly it also looks like my Apple Scrumptious won't be producing fruit again this year. It might have apple scab. Then again it could be blossom wilt. I really don't know. And my clematis has still not produced any flowers (this is it's third year).  So I turned my garden into an outdoor treatment area and went round giving Reiki to various plants.  If anyone had witnessed the scene I'm not sure what they would have thought.  Anyway, the experiment is in its early stages and I think more sessions are required.  But I could be onto something here...

Learning to follow my bliss

"Nobody else knows your reason for being. You do. Your bliss guides you to it. When you follow your bliss, when you follow your path to joy, your conversation is of joy, your feelings are of joy -- you're right on the path of that which you intended when you came forth into this physical body."

Quote courtesy of Abraham Hicks

How many of us can actually say that we are on our path to joy, that we are following our bliss.  There are brief moments, heck I would go as far as to say there are even whole days, when I know I am on that path and bliss is my companion.  Most of the time however I find I'm way off the beaten track and stumbling through a fog.  Sometimes the detours can be interesting but I always feel bliss calling for me to get back on the right path.  More and more I am starting to listen to my guide.

The root of the problem

I have one border in the garden that I would like to become a 'hot' bed. Not one of sin, but one of colour! I want strong oranges and reds, with some blue for contrast, and lots of green.  At the weekend I bought a few packets of seeds (hybrid sunflowers, marigolds and a meadow mixture) to sow in this bed. The different heights will give it some structure and the colours will be wonderful!  The bed already has a large Buddleja and an Escallonia, also a fern which I thought I had lost over the winter but it has recovered again.  On Monday I also decided to put the Cordyline in the ground as it hasn't been a success in the pot.  Besides, it has such a tropical look and feel to it I think it will work really well in the 'hot' bed. 

I eventually got the Cordyline in the ground (it looks good next to the fern) but getting the spade into the ground was hard work.  This was due to a large network of roots lying just under the surface of the soil which are growing horizontally along the ground, as I discovered when I tried to pull one root out.  As the bed is against a perimeter fence, I suspect these roots are coming from the garden next door.  The house has been empty for nearly a year and the last owner never really was much of a gardener so the garden had become a bit overgrown.   I moved further along the bed and stuck the spade in the ground - it would hardly go in at all!  Just under the surface there was a fine mesh-like tangle of roots growing all through the soil.  I took me ages to clear just one small area. I'm not sure if these roots will cause any problems.  Certainly my Buddleja and Escallonia aren't affected by them.  In the end I decided to give the seeds a go and see what happens.  I've planted some of the marigold seeds in a pot filled with compost to see if there is a difference in how they grow compared to the ones in the soil.   We've had a little rain overnight, more rain this morning, so all of the garden looks so much fresher.  The whole month has been so dry that the ground is looking very parched.  I've been watering some of the plants in the other beds and also my Apple Scrumptious.  Sadly there has been no blossom this year despite the tree looking very healthy.  The Apple Discovery blossomed earlier this month so at least we will have one tree providing us with fruit this year.   

 

Floating down the stream of time...

I am so pleased to hear that Yvonne Innes and Olivia Harrison have been awared a Silver Gilt at the RHS Chelsea Flower Show for their garden 'From Life to Life'.  This specially designed garden was inspired by the life of George Harrison - I particularly love the Indian pavilion which represents the spiritual aspect of his life.

There have been a few new additions to the garden this week.  In between the showers I managed to get in the ground the Astilbe, Aquilegia, Japanese Anenomes and Phlox that Mum had given me from her own garden.  Given the eventual spread of these plants, I split them and spaced them out round the borders.  I also have a Cordyline which needs re-potting and the rest of the borders to weed (jobs for this afternoon if the weather holds).

This picture of our summer house was taken before the roof shingles were finally replaced yesterday.  It just needs one more coat of clear varnish outside and in and it will be ready to use!

... but is it Art?

"There is no "The End" to be written, neither can you, like an architect, engrave in stone the day the garden was finished; a painter can frame his picture, a composer notate his coda, but a garden is always on the move." Mirabel Osler.

Art can take many different forms and can mean many things to many people.  A recent online discussion about how art can be both healing and transformative prompted me to view my own garden space as an artistic work in progress, one which has no end as it will always develop and change.  The whole process of creating and watching my garden grow and develop has been hugely transformative for me and is a source of much healing.

Testing the water

Woke this morning feeling quite down and worrying about what I should be doing with my life, whether I should stay in my current job or take the leap and do something completely different.  Last week I had tentatively put my toes in the water regarding becoming a Virgin Vie Consultant but then immediately pulled them back out again as my confidence plummeted. 

However, in the short space of a couple of hours I have phoned my Reiki teacher to arrange a hypnotherapy & motivational coaching session, exchanged emails and phone numbers with a consultant from Virgin Vie about having an informal chat over coffee this week, and spoken to a recruitment agency about dropping in sometime with my C.V.  Of course this time next week it's quite possible that for all my plans I'll be right back to square one again as far as my confidence is concerned but at least I've done something.

Pots by the Shed

The Scent of Vanilla

Apples on the Tree

Newly Planted

Today's Horoscope

"Although you can be so intently focused on the minute details of your immediate environment, the astrological month of Taurus opens your vistas of thought and imagination. Today, however, with the Moon in your 10th House of Career, it's crucial for you to make an effort to push beyond your own self-limiting boundaries. Widen your vision in a practical manner so you can eagerly open the door when opportunity knocks."

This is very appropriate considering the current situation here in my office.  We are living on the knive edge at the moment and not sure which way things will go.  Before I read the above this morning, a few of us were discussing the way things are and how we probably need forced change in order to jolt us out of our current environments.  We moan and complain but we put up with our lot because it's safe and it's what we know.  I think this is true for the majority of people.  Unless change forces us out of a situation, we are happy just to stay put and accept our lot.  But if our work is a huge chunk of our lives (we spend more time at work than we do with our families), why are we putting up with something that makes us so miserable? 

The last few years have seen me taking steps to change my working life so that it incorporates some or all of my interests. Progress hasn't been as fast as I would have liked but moving from full-time to part-time working is one change that has definitely had a huge impact on my life (for the better!).  I'm still heading in the right direction as far as my plans are concerned, although I now accept that things don't always happen when we want them to.  Life can change at any time and we never know what is just around the corner.  I'm definitely going to be prepared for when the opportunity comes knocking.

Today's Horoscope

“Sometimes, you appear cooler on the surface than you truly feel. You may be tempted to downplay your feelings so that others don't get worked up with your emotional drama. The problem with this strategy is that your secret passions may not find a way to express, unless others in your life know how you are feeling. This can be terrifying, for you don't want to be inappropriate, but it's time to act on your feelings now.”

Now this is particularly accurate in my case.  I’m not inclined to show my emotions very easily.  And yes, I have been known to downplay my feelings on occasion.  However, after reading the above, I’m left wondering exactly how I should go about expressing my ‘secret passions’.  Passionate displays certainly sound terrifying, but I’m thinking probably more so for the person on the receiving end than for myself! But on reflection this has got me thinking.  Is the reason behind my calm exterior and downplaying of feelings a way of trying to convince others (and more likely myself) that I am in control and that displays of emotion are a sign of weakness?   Putting my emotional dramas ‘out there’ for others to see just seems way too scary right now.  I’m going to think more about this and return to it at a later date. 

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity. Gilda Radner

I long for the perfect ending. If a book I’m reading doesn’t have an upbeat conclusion, I feel let down, cheated somehow out of the “happy ever after” that doesn’t exist in real life but that I look for in fiction.

Perhaps it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m a perfectionist, or should I say a recovering perfectionist. I was, and still am to a certain extent, a real stickler for everything to be just right, nothing out of place, to always have the perfect ending. But you don’t half set yourself up for disappointment when you try to control and organise every aspect of your life. I learned that the hard way. Of course, life isn’t perfect. Deep down I knew that. It didn’t stop me trying though.

Today, I can accept life and all its imperfections (although not without a struggle!). I wouldn’t want it any other way. Life can have moments of desperate sadness and terrible tragedy but equally can give us moments of sheer joy and untold pleasure. We definitely do have to make the best of what life deals us. To learn from the past but not dwell in it, plan for the future but live for the moment. To look forward, not with fear or dread but with anticipation and hope.

Growing Stronger

There’s no doubt that most of us spend a lot of time dwelling on our weaknesses.  We regularly beat ourselves up about all the things we believe we are no good at.  If we could only apply the same amount of time and enthusiasm to praising our strengths!

A colleague received a mailing from the Centre for Applied Positive Psychology which is a new organisation promoting the science and practice of positive psychology.  The pack contained several cards with a word or phrase on each, and a comic representational drawing on the reverse. We decided to do a quick exercise with the cards to identify what we thought our strengths and weaknesses were. Thankfully, of the two piles of cards we chose, the one representing our strengths was bigger!  Our choices were similar.  We had both picked ‘social intelligence’, ‘perspective’ and ‘humour’ as strengths.  I had also picked ‘creativity’, ‘kindness’ and ‘spirituality’ as my strengths. Interestingly, we had both picked ‘love’ as one of our weaknesses.  Not that this means we are completely incapable of feeling or giving love.  We just felt we didn’t express it as well as we could and this was something we wanted to work on.

This was an exercise that definitely got us thinking about how little we recognise and acknowledge our strengths.  I am particularly inspired by the suggestion on each of the cards about starting a daily ‘Strength Journal’ where you record three occasions during the day where you displayed that particular strength.

Dharma Creation

In the beginning...

Dharma in the Garden is being created.  Watch this space!